I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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