god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My vagina is very pro this idea
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