see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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