guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
