Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize