Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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