I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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