it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
