Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
