dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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