Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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