Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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