I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
