he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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