so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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