Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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