allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
