I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
