I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize