What did we do last night that was yellow?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it because I queefed?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
