My nipple is on Facebook.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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