I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
