With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
