did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
