i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
