There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
