i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
