my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
