i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize