Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
