dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
