i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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