did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
