Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize