I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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