Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
