it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
