shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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