the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
