I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
