hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
