Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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