sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize