I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
