My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
