you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
