Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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