It's just like the Real World with babies
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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