haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
