I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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