she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
