Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
