these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
