he told me I talked like a deaf person
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize