I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
