I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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